by Bethany Eggers, MA, LPC-MH

In the movie “Inside Out,” the character Anger is portrayed as a red faced, stocky character who lacks trust in his fellow emotions and is quick to blow up. Throughout the movie we literally see flames coming out of his head when he perceives a situation as unfair. Although we do not have literal flames coming out of our heads when we experience anger, it often may feel that way. 

Anger is just one of many emotions that is a normal part of the human experience. It can be a complicated emotion, difficult to describe and oftentimes is a mask of what is really going on underneath. Anger can be connected to feeling threatened, overwhelmed, vulnerable, resentful, overlooked or unrecognized along with many other feelings. 

We each express and present anger in different ways that are unique to our experiences. Some issues that may need to be addressed alongside anger include processing trauma, improving self-compassion, learning communication skills or conflict management and working on better expressing our needs. Before we are able to dive into confronting these issues, we need to learn to calm ourselves, reflect and find ways to reroute our emotions to keep anger from escalating into problematic and negative patterns and behavior. 

Building a “tool box” of coping skills can be helpful to pick from to help ourselves de escalate while trying to learn how to regulate. Learning different breathing techniques is helpful as they can be utilized in any kind of environment as a way to bring ourselves out of fight or flight mode and reactivate our logical, problem-solving abilities. Creating a safety plan tailored to our specific triggers when angry is important to keep ourselves and others safe. Journaling can serve as an outlet to record our feelings and experiences and be able to reflect on them once calmed down. Anger is an active emotion so it is helpful to have skills in our toolbox that relate to movement. Get outside for a quick walk to the mailbox. 

When we are regulated, anger can serve to inform us, alert us and protect us. The goal is not to get rid of our anger, but learn how to process it in more constructive ways. 

At all four of our locations - River Counseling Services in Platte, Sioux Falls Psychological Services, and Stronghold Counseling Services in Sioux Falls and in Yankton, our mission is this- we meet you where you are, offering hope.  You may schedule an appointment at the Platte office at 605-274-2716 or meet with one of our Sioux Falls or Yankton based therapists from your computer, smartphone, or in person at any of our clinics. To schedule an appointment, please call 605-334-2696.