Our Blog

Misplaced Expectations

Wednesday, September 6th, 2023

by Samantha Booth, Counseling Intern



What causes you a lack of peace?  The most common answers to this question are things like being overly busy, fears of the future, pressure to be perfect, relational conflicts, hurts, and people pleasing.  All these things have a theme of expectation.  We can create stories or write plans in our heads and oftentimes we feel discord when they don't go the way we expect them to.  When things or people do not meet our expectations, we may compensate in order to find peace and reach normalcy again.  How do you pursue peace in the midst of discord?  Most times, it's an effort to gain back control.

Misplaced expectations can bring fear, worry, disappointment, and almost always control.  If left unchecked, misplaced expectations can led into resentment.  This equals less peace, more fear, and more attempted control.  Below are some remedies to combat those misplaced expectations.

1. Gratitude--Love and appreciation begin when expectations end.  

2. Speak up--Calling out expectations is a great way to set you free from them.

3. Capture your thoughts--Ask what/who am I putting an expectation on.

The goal of life is to not live expectation free, that is not possible.  Life is a  journey of who you are becoming and learning to find peace in the midst of discord. Taking the time to think about the expectations you create, process how you feel when they aren't met, and find a remedy to restore peace is a valuable skill.

If you are losing a sense of peace in your life  and you want to talk about it with a professional, we have competent and caring therapists in all four of our locations: River Counseling Services in Platte, Sioux Falls Psychological Services, and Stronghold Counseling Services in Sioux Falls and in Yankton -who will meet you where you are, offering hope. That is our mission. You may schedule an appointment at the Platte office at 605-337-3444 or meet with one of our Sioux Falls or Yankton based therapists from your computer, smartphone, or in person at any of our clinics. To schedule an appointment, please call 605-334-2696.