by Samantha Booth, Counseling Intern

Have you ever heard the piece of advice that just because you have children doesn't mean that you have to stop living your life; children are an addition to the life you have and you are bringing them along on your journey? When you are contemplating adding kids to your family, this advice can often provide comfort. One of the biggest fears as potential parents is that life is going to change too much.  So hearing that having children wouldn't need to necessarily alter your life completely can be reassuring.

It can be hard to always be at peace with the change a growing family can bring. Children stretch you and force you to grow out of your own selfishness. The biggest and most unexpected lesson one can learn after having children is how much children require you to slow down.  They force us to be in the moment, every moment of the day.  This is not always a welcomed change, especially for those that spend most of our mental energy in the future or past. None-the-less it is a change for the better.  Having children forces us to say no to opportunities we would have otherwise just worked into our schedules.  They make us rethink how to work, what to do for leisure, what self-care is, and time with family and friends.

There is wisdom in the fact that you won't need to lock yourselves in the house until your children have left the nest. Having children does not mean we have to stop pouring into ourselves as individuals.  We can't overlook that there are going to be parts of our lives that need change and that is ok.  We tend to move so fast through life, chasing after anything and everything our hearts desire.  We can learn to be still, to focus our passions--not just be busy and to be intentional with our time.  We can learn to be present and slow down.  

If you are struggling with a life transition and you want to talk about it with a professional, we have competent and caring therapists in all four of our locations: River Counseling Services in Platte, Sioux Falls Psychological Services, and Stronghold Counseling Services in Sioux Falls and in Yankton -who will meet you where you are, offering hope. That is our mission. You may schedule an appointment at the Platte office at 605-337-3444 or meet with one of our Sioux Falls or Yankton based therapists from your computer, smartphone, or in person at any of our clinics. To schedule an appointment, please call 605-334-2696.