by Grace Collins, MA
 

Have you been on the hunt for joy this spring? Do you look at the ways others seem to experience joy and find yourself longing for the burst they seem to have that you are missing? Research tells us that joy is one of our most desired emotions, and that humans have from the beginning identified ways to generate it in daily life.

To identify joy in life we can start by looking for times we have felt it most. Maybe the birth of a child, your wedding day, or even climbing a mountain. When we don’t have major life altering moments or exciting vacations within sight we instead identify the words that link us to joy. The biggest words that link us to joy are “vulnerability” and “trust.”

Joy is not found without vulnerability and vulnerability is not possible without trust. The trust and safety we form in our environment and in our relationships gives us room for increased courage to risk greater vulnerability. When we experience vulnerability, we sit on the edge of uncertainty and risk the exposure of ourselves. I cannot think of a better way to describe birth, weddings, and climbing mountains.

Relationships give us context for this great experience, and in each of these examples (birth, wedding, climbing mountains) there is acknowledgment of the risk and uncertainty that exists alongside the happiness and pleasure that accompany joy.

A paradox is something that sounds contradictory but upon reflection or investigation proves to have elements of truth. I think it is in these paradoxical moments - moments where uncertainty and happiness coexist - that we find some of the greatest gifts of being truly human. That is why joy and vulnerability at first glance can seem to have little in common, but after some thoughtful examination we discover that joy and vulnerability are closely related and can be experienced simultaneously.   

If you find yourself looking for a few ways to engage in joy and vulnerability there are a few tips to keep in mind.

1. Find a counselor or trusted person to share your own story with in an honest and  vulnerable way.
   
    
2. Lean into feeling joy! Often, we miss or forego joyful moments in fear of the vulnerability we may feel along with it.  I encourage you to take the risk!
   
    
3. Practice gratitude. By practicing gratitude in your life (maybe even listing 3 things each day you are thankful for) you will recognize more and more beautiful examples of joy and vulnerability in the world.

If joy is lacking in your life, and if you are ready to risk the vulnerability of telling your story to someone who will invest in you, give us a call.  River Counseling Services and Sioux Falls Psychological Services meet you where you are, offering hope.  You may schedule an appointment with the Platte office at 605-337-3444, or meet with one of our Sioux Falls Psychological Services therapists from your own computer or smartphone.  To schedule an appointment please call 605-334-2696.