by Nicole VanZuidam, Counseling Intern

Recently in a lesson with a girls group I am involved in, we discussed wisdom.  One of the questions that was posed was, ‘What is the difference between being smart and being wise?’  We explored this and agreed that being smart is learning information or having knowledge, but that being wise is taking the knowledge you have combined with your experiences to make good choices.  The conversation carried on about ways we can become wise and who in our lives can help us along the way.  I walked away feeling that the things we considered in that discussion was just as much for adults as young girls.  

How often do we as adults ask for help or guidance in a situation?  We live in a culture that not only promotes but praises total independence, pushing people to do things on our own, figure it out on our own, and be able to take sole credit.  When I think about the reasons I might be hesitant to ask for help or talk something through, I can usually reduce it to fear of vulnerability.  In order to create intimate relationships, one of the most important pieces is mutual vulnerability.  So not only does this hesitancy diminish the potential we have for gaining wisdom, it impacts our relationships.  

This not only applies to our adult relationships, but unfortunately, we can also miss the opportunity with children when we do not know how to share vulnerability age appropriately.  It is crucial for us to model these things, showing children the importance of utilizing other wise and healthy individuals to help us make wise choices.

I encourage you to consider these things for yourself.  When you have decisions to make, what influences those decisions?  Who do you invite into some of the more vulnerable pieces of your life to deepen relationship and ultimately have an impact on you?  How do you model this process for those younger than you or the children in your life?  What do you do actively to expand in wisdom?  Sometimes the experiences we have that could give us wisdom, can stand as roadblocks until we have processed them in healthy ways.  Are you aware what roadblocks still exist for you?

Therapy can be a safe place to explore the barriers that could be impeding your ability to fully engage in your relationships or make wise choices.  We at River Counseling are here to meet you where you are, offering hope.  You may schedule an appointment at the Platte office at 605-337-3444 or meet with one of our Sioux Falls or Yankton based therapists from your computer, smartphone, or in person at any of our clinics. To schedule an appointment, please call 605-334-2696.