I was talking with a colleague recently about listening.  That’s a bit confusing – talking about listening.  But we were.  We came to the conclusion that “to be heard is to exist.”  Many people grow up in homes where they are genuinely listened to and respected as having something to say and the right to say it.  This usually results in a sense of “being me,” of existing.  To be listened to and to be heard generally equates to a sense of personal worth and to the ability to trust others and to be trustworthy for others.

Sadly, many others grow up in homes where their task seems to be that of making sure the parents are getting their needs met.  This can have many different looks, but what it leads to is NOT existence based on “being me,” but existence based on pleasing others.   In such situations the foundation for psychological problems gets set deep in the psyche, and the potential for future relationship problems is greatly increased.

If you are a parent, listen to your children and make sure they feel genuinely heard by you.   If you are someone who did not receive the psychological and relational foundation you needed, consider jumping into therapy with a competent therapist who will listen to you, and will help you work through the impact of your upbringing on your life and relationships.

Our radio ads on MIX 97.3 end with the phrase “listening, counseling, healing… for you.”  Good therapists listen, and in time their clients feel heard and begin to experience a sense of being, of truly living, of existing.

To be heard is to exist.