by Melanie VanderPol-Bailey, MSW, CSW-PIP

Since 1989, our Nation has recognized October as Domestic Violence Awareness Month.  One of the campaigns for this year is #Every1KnowsSome1 and in 2023 this is still true.  This kind of abuse affects everyone – men, women, and children of all races, religions, and cultures.  Domestic violence is defined as a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another partner.

There is often a tendency to shy away from shining a light on what happens behind closed doors.  Cycles often continue in silence. There are many ways to do our part in the prevention of these unhealthy behaviors.  It is paramount to value and acknowledge that all human beings have inherent dignity and worth.  Recognizing the warning signs that someone may be experiencing violence can be another key to prevention.  Here are some of the possible warning signs that someone may be experiencing intimate partner violence:

• Isolation – Permission is needed before making plans or speaking to friends and family members. Victims may be forced to quit their jobs or drop out of school.
• Low Self-Esteem – Feeling deserving of the abuser’s violence, accepting fault for, and making excuses for their partner’s behavior.
• Unexplained Injuries – Bruises, cuts, scrapes, or even broken bones that are blamed on clumsiness or are in multiple stages of healing.
• Depression or Anxiety – Persistent feelings of hopelessness, fear of angering their partner, and fear of repercussions for seeking help.

If you are concerned that someone you care about is in an abusive relationship, the National Domestic Violence Hotline recommends the following approach:

• Express your concerns to your loved one in a gentle and non-judgmental way.
• Encourage participation in activities outside of the relationship with friends and family.
• Encourage outreach to people who can provide help and guidance, such as the phone number for the National Domestic Violence Hotline, 800-799-SAFE (7233).
• Continue to show your support regardless of the decisions made by your loved one.

At River Counseling Services in Platte, Sioux Falls Psychological Services, and Stronghold Counseling Services in Sioux Falls and in Yankton we will meet you where you are, offering hope. That is our mission. You may schedule an appointment at the Platte office at 605-337-3444 or meet with one of our Sioux Falls or Yankton based therapists from your computer, smartphone, or in person at any of our clinics. To schedule an appointment, please call 605-334-2696.