by Kim Belben, M.A.

Many moms express concern about how to handle the winter months during the pandemic. A mix of anxiety and exhaustion leaves them worried about how they can entertain their children and help them get their energy out when going places outside the house is limited.  What drives this is our own sense of exhaustion and anxiety.  

So rather than focus on what Google says are the best indoor activities for winter (and there are some great ideas out there!), let’s focus on decreasing the anxiety and exhaustion moms currently face. Here are four tips to get you started:
 

See anxiety for what it is – reframing the message
Anxiety is a messenger. We tend to interpret its message as something bad is about to happen, and we don’t feel ready for it or able to handle whatever is to come. But there is a different message in anxiety that we often miss. Anxiety tells us about what is important to us. For example, when cooped up more than usual a mom may worry about an increase in fighting. Perhaps this indicates a value of harmony in the family. Another example: many moms have expressed worry about how quarantine is affecting their children’s social development – indicating a value they put on helping their children build and grow in relationships with others. Anxiety responds well to taking action. When we can see the value statement in anxiety, we are able to lean into those values and take action on things that are meaningful in our lives. 
 

Create routine
Routine also helps decrease anxiety. When we know what to expect we tend to feel more prepared and are better able to be present in the current task. Routines likely need to shift this winter as the ability to go somewhere outside the home is increasingly limited. Now is a good time to revisit your daily routine with young kids at home. Make time (we do not ever really “find” it) for rest in the routine as well. It is necessary to include “time to relax” in the midst of all the tasks a mom might hope to accomplish in a day.
 

Get creative – include children in activities you find restorative
I do not talk much about “self-care.” We do many things in the name of self-care that leave us just as drained when we are done as when we started. Instead, focus on what gives you life. While you could go to Google for an unending list of activities you can do in your home with kids this winter, you do not have to entertain your children every moment of the day. It is important to include activities YOU find calming in your day. Think about what restores you or gives you energy, and find ways to include your kids in those activities. I used to read my books aloud to my son while he was eating breakfast or lunch. You could turn on some music and move through the house – maybe you clean up along the way, or maybe you dance… maybe you just sit with the music and talk with your kids about the instruments you hear. These experiences foster your relationships and are great for child development. 
 

Survival mode
Remember, we are all existing in survival mode to some extent. What you need to do to get by today might be different from how you imagined motherhood. It will not always be this way, but right now it is. Your wellbeing is so important to your children, more important even than how much screen time they get or if they are eating only the healthiest foods. If you need to let your children watch an extra show so you can shower, rest, clean, etc… that is OK. If they stay in their pajamas until noon, that is OK! There is no need to add stress to your life by trying to do it all at 100%.  Just do the best you can and remember, you’re rockin’ it momma!