By Megan Miller M.A., LPC, LMFT
“We need an ongoing blessing that allows us to hear in an ever-new way that we belong to a loving God who will never leave us alone, but will remind us always that we are guided by love on every step of our lives.”
-Henri Nouwen, Life of the Beloved
When we slow in our mountain of “to-do’s” to speak prayers, to call out something beautiful in another person, or to truly hear them in a time of need we are providing an opportunity for something greater than just two people gathered together. We invite an experience of sharing God’s loving gaze with that person. It can be life-changing for them, and/or us, when we take the time to share in one another’s belovedness.
So what keeps us from doing this more often? We may stay frozen and isolated by our own insecurities or the fear that we will get it all wrong. Or that internal voice that tells us in our dark, isolated places that we aren’t blessed, but instead cursed. Due to our own history and imperfections or stories others have told us about how unloved we are, it can be hard to slow, hear, and truly trust the voice of truth and soak in for ourselves that we are chosen and blessed. As Henri Nouwen references in his quote and book Life of the Beloved, we must seek ways to absorb the reality that we are chosen, loved, and blessed. AND he emphasizes that we need to hear this in new ways and hear them often to battle the overwhelming lies that can sway us into believing that we are instead cursed or not enough.
We are all on our own journey to knowing our blessedness. In our culture we spend time competing and working at being the best at whatever we do. While there is beauty in seeking growth, we may become wrapped up in competition and a need to be “better than” others. Embracing the blessing and our belovedness is different than this model of scarcity. The divine giftedness we have all been uniquely created with is something that does not run out or diminish in the face of another’s blessedness. When we begin to understand this truth that lives within us, truly hear the blessing and claim it for ourselves, it is then we can be blessed all the more and have a deep desire well up within us to share this blessing with those around us. We don’t have to give into the fear that lies to us saying that if someone else becomes blessed, than we will not be. We instead understand deeply that as we own this blessing, others too can grow in their blessing, and we can come together in more beautiful and more full ways than ever before.
As we have the courage to hear, accept, and walk in our deep blessing, it creates an environment in which we begin to go through this life as the “blessed ones,” which overflows into those around us. We must choose to accept that we are the blessed ones over and over again (day after day, hour after hour, minute after minute). To seek and embrace this truth as fully as we are able, allows us to reject the curses and fear that we aren’t enough. Through this very knowing, we navigate life with an overflowing love and awareness that allows others to slow and soak in their blessedness as well. I encourage you to wrestle with ways to embrace your blessings and have courage to reflect those gifts and blessings you see in others.
If you feel paralyzed by the curses or fear in your life and long to understand your unique blessings more fully, Sioux Falls Psychological Services is here to walk with you. To schedule an appointment using a confidential technology connection you can call 605-334-2696.